omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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