There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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