Do you still have your period?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
