Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
