Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
