god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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