Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
