one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
