the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
