1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
