I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
