it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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