I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
