we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
