WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
