I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
