Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
