If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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