Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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