love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
