Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
