a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
vagina is talking i cant
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
