Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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