i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
