i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
