White coat. Heels.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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