To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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