Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
