you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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