I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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