i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
