Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
