You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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