fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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