porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
