Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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