after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
