I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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