these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
