Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
