We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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