you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
