we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
