It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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