Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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