Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
