remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
