I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
