the condom got lost in my hair
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
