Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
